I've been feeling a lot bette the past few days; I think it was talking to Paul, he's a good listener and his advice is really great.
I went out for dinner with family today which was nice; it was my cousin's birthday. He's a quiet lad and in part reminds me of myself, but then I realise I'm not quiet, I'm loud and demanding, I'm sometimes quiet so people don't get scared off by my personality.
This is a bad thing, I'm going to try and have my personality out a bit more and anyone who doesn't like it can sod off.
Just watched the finales of Dollhouse, I say finales because the final episode wasn't broadcast in the US of A but did here in the UK, being set in the future and being very confusing I can see maybe why.
I'm coming up with some song titles, time to explore them and what I can create.
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Sunday, 20 September 2009
I've been feeling better the last few days; I think this is because I've stopped drinking; alcohol being a depressant and all that. I still have the odd one, but not loads on a night out.
I went round to see a friend last night, he was in a similar situation about 6 months before me, he seems to have moved on quite well; he had lots of good advice, which was cool.
My attempts to set up a band are going very slowly, the singer who I was talking to turned out to love hair metal and wanted to do dodgy 80s metal tracks, which I despise; he insisted he wanted to play a particular song, which he played for me and Gaz, which was a real wrist slitter of a ballad, sod that! He is in a very similar situatoin to me, except he wants to wallow in self pity and grovel to his ex; not my style.
So...I told him we weren't going in that direction and thanks for his effort. That made me feel shite, but it's not my fault he's in that situation, I'm not his lifeline, i don't need that responsibility. I want to fucking rock.
I went round to see a friend last night, he was in a similar situation about 6 months before me, he seems to have moved on quite well; he had lots of good advice, which was cool.
My attempts to set up a band are going very slowly, the singer who I was talking to turned out to love hair metal and wanted to do dodgy 80s metal tracks, which I despise; he insisted he wanted to play a particular song, which he played for me and Gaz, which was a real wrist slitter of a ballad, sod that! He is in a very similar situatoin to me, except he wants to wallow in self pity and grovel to his ex; not my style.
So...I told him we weren't going in that direction and thanks for his effort. That made me feel shite, but it's not my fault he's in that situation, I'm not his lifeline, i don't need that responsibility. I want to fucking rock.
Sunday, 13 September 2009
I feel so alone, I still love her and need to be with her, but she doesn't want to be with me. I can't stand it, good times pop into my head constantly with the added tag of 'you'll never be able to do that with her again', I can't stand it; I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown, I probably am.
My life means nothing without her, I have elevated her so high that everything else pales in comparison, one look at her and I'm back at square one.
Which is so fucking annoying as even when I go out of my way so I don't have to see her, she's always bloody there, someone is taunting me, someone wants me to curl up into a ball and die.
Well fuck them, I'm not going to do that.
My life means nothing without her, I have elevated her so high that everything else pales in comparison, one look at her and I'm back at square one.
Which is so fucking annoying as even when I go out of my way so I don't have to see her, she's always bloody there, someone is taunting me, someone wants me to curl up into a ball and die.
Well fuck them, I'm not going to do that.
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